Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Pull-ups in Kindergarten?

I love the Internet.  I feel if you know how to Google, you can do anything.  If you lack an idea, you can find one.  Inspiration is everywhere.  Help is always around the corner.
Then why on Earth am I unable to find the trick to potty-training my 5 ½ year old son!?!?
Seriously, don’t tell me it’s because he is a boy.  I have two older boys that were potty-trained at the age of TWO!!  OK, I can buy that it is possibly the SPD or Autism, but I know many people that have children with SPD and Autism that have their children potty-trained before kindergarten.
Yes, KINDERGARTEN.  I’m not talking preschool.  Kindergarten.  I need my child potty-trained before kindergarten.  Not because the school is insisting on it.  Amazingly, they keep telling me it will be fine.  They will handle it.  He’s not the first, he won’t be the last. 
I’m scared out of my mind socially for him.  Doesn’t he have enough challenges?  Isn’t relating to people difficult enough?  He does not need one more thing that will keep him from making friends.  Something to make him stand out, negatively.  Something to follow him through high school.  And, I know it will.
I can not have him be the kid sitting at the end of the lunch table all alone.  I can NOT let that happen.  I can’t.  He wants friends.  He needs friends.  And, I’m scared not being potty-trained will prevent that.  I’m afraid that even when he is potty-trained, the damage will already be done.
I want an answer.  A trick.  A treasure box doesn’t work.  Charts don’t work.  Limiting activities doesn’t work.  And I don’t want to hear he’ll do it when he’s ready.  I think he is ready.  I think he does know. 
He has peeing in the toilet down.  He’s dry at night.  He doesn’t have accidents at the park anymore.  I’ve caught him hiding under the train table when he is going poop.  And, TWICE, he has gone on the toilet.  I believe he can do it. 
I just need to know why he won’t do it.  I can help him overcome a fear.  If the toilet seat is too hard, I can get a soft one.  If he wants a small potty-chair instead of the big toilet, I’ll buy one. 
I need more ideas, more methods.  I own more potty-training books than everyone else on my block combined.  I’ve scoured the Internet looking for them.  Nothing I haven’t tried is there.  All I am finding are other people’s stories.  I find little comfort in those anymore, because most did get their child potty-trained by age four.  Before kindergarten. 
I can handle the time if I knew what the hold-up was.  I need to be working on a target.  Something concrete. 
I really think my one year old will be potty-trained before H.  My one year old lets me know when he is going.  He seems to understand.  Once he’s walking…  Once he’s talking…  I’m sure he will be potty-trained by age two, if not sooner.  I want H trained first—he’s 4 ½ years older! 

3 comments:

  1. Been there-done that. P was 4 when he "potty-trained" but was 5 before he would poop. And still there are ISSUES! I am like you I have read it all. I own nearly every type of potty seat known to mankind! It is SOOO frustrating!!!! P doesn't seem to know that he needs to go "poop" until he actually starts to go. He also withholds a lot. I have to make sure that he goes everyday and when he does it stops up the toilet :( With him I have a delicate balance between fiber (supplements and food) and "binding" foods so he doesn't have too loose a stool. What really helped Patrick was the Wilabarger Brushing Protocol (I probably spelled that wrong). I wish I had a magic solution for you. Heck I wish I had a magic solution for me. I will say that my son has not had an accident at school yet. The peer pressure has been enough. And my son has friends ;) Yours will too. I just started reading about Interoception-a "new" sense that deals with hunger, thirst, and elimination. I don't know that there is a therapy for that yet. I need it for mine too. Take heart you are not alone!

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  2. Your son must be in kindergarten now? Did you ever figure it out? I'm going through the same thing right now. My son is 5, in kindergarten and his teacher wants him to wear pull-ups during the day. I'm not going to allow that. He's been peeing on the potty for a year, putting pull-ups on him now would be a major step back.
    Anyway I just wanted to let you know that I feel your frustration. People try to help but until you have a kid in kindergarten using the potty you don't understand.
    My biggest pet peeve was people saying to put a cheerio in the potty for him to aim to. That is not helpful advice!

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  3. I would suggest putting him in cloth training pants so he will feel when he wets or soils himself and that will get uncomfortable.

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