Filling In The Blanks

I hate filling out forms.  Not because it is tedious (but it is) and not because they are time consuming (because they are), not because I don’t think they are necessary (even though they are very repetitive for the exact same office), but because of the little place that asks about my employment.

I hate leaving that little spot blank.  I hate checking “not employed.”  It drives me batty.  I want to shout I once had a high-paying job with lots of power.  It’s not that I don’t think staying home with my children is a valid choice—and I did CHOOSE, happily, to do so.  It’s that by leaving that spot blank, I’m saying I do nothing for work.  But that’s not true.

All of us parents out there, getting a paycheck or not, know what work our children involve, especially those of us with special needs kids.  My developmentally typical kids are WORK, but my special needs little guy is MAJOR WORK.

Yes, I take him to therapy.  But I also work at home with all the homework they give us.  The therapists, who gets to fill in that little blank, sees my son for one hour a week.  I work reinforcing things at home for several hours a day.  Little by little, all day long.

I handle the meltdowns when his environment is too overwhelming.  I cook.  I clean, and my sensory seeker makes sure I clean 5x more than I would if he wasn’t a sensory seeker. I drive from appointment to appointment.  I coach my kids in etiquette, and help with extra circular activities.  I volunteer on over-drive at the school so I know I can get things for him that the school might otherwise not give him.  I do everything that people get paid for.   Like all parents.  But when I fill out that form, I feel dismissed.

I know it has more to do with financial responsibility, but I DO work.  I work for my children.  I fight for my son, day in and day out.  Searching for what works and taking off the table what doesn’t.  We’re trying to discover what all his issues are.  And I want to be recognized for that.  That I’m trying.  That I haven’t quit.  That I don’t dismiss my son.  And that those stupid, horrible, judgmental people in restaurants and grocery stores shouldn’t be giving me and my son looks of disdain!