Do you ever feel alone? Like a piece of drift wood floating along in the ocean? I frequently feel this way.
I’m asked about my support system from time to time. I don’t have a support system. Our closest family is over an hour away. And quite, frankly, even if they were one street over, they wouldn’t be of any help.
My in-laws can’t acknowledge there is anything wrong. To them, my son is just spirited—even naughty. I’m over-reacting and wasting money and time on nothing. All he needs is a good spanking and eventually he’ll fall into line.
My parents fall into the category of strictly believing in the stereotypes. He can’t be autistic—those kids flap their arms, walk on tip-toe, don’t smile, don’t make eye contact, and seem to have unique talents (a la Rain Man). Sensory issues? All kids have quirks. Please note my eyes rolling here. They get angry that he isn’t potty-trained and don’t want him around... He’s old enough to be reasoned with. Seriously? If I could reason with this child, my life would be immensely easier in many areas.
I have friends that try and understand, but they can’t really. There are just things you don’t get when all your kids are typical, developmentally normal children. They can’t empathize. They don’t understand why I can’t participate is some functions. We can’t trade babysitting (like we used to)—as they are at a loss on what to do with H.
I do have a couple of friends with autistic children, but they don’t want to hear it. Oh, they’ll politely listen, and help where they can, but their eyes are screaming at me to “SHUT UP!” They would kill to have their children even half as high functioning as H.
No, my only support comes from the people I pay, and usually only for the amount of time I am paying them for. And even then, I have to hear how it isn’t that bad. And I know it’s not, but it isn’t they typical experience either. What it is supposed to be.
I suppose that is why I’m here. I’m venting. Hopefully to those who understand. Hopefully to someone who cares. To someone who relates. To someone who will hop on this journey with me and occasionally lend a helping hand. And, maybe, I’ll be a help to someone else. There are many blogs out there, but most of them already have some idea of the wild train ride they are on. Maybe being completely lost with someone else who is completely lost will be comforting.
Check out my blog too ;) My son is 5 (six in June), we have been riding this wave for a year now (wow it's been that long!). I have a Bachelor's in Early Childhood Ed and had not ever heard of SPD, until an OT told me about it last year! I feel your pain! My son was 4 when he started to pee in the potty, 5 when consistently pooping in the potty. As it is now we have to give him fiber or he will hold it forever! Our families "try" to understand, but don't really. Well, mom and dad and my mother-in-law are good, the extended family, not so much!
ReplyDeleteWe are struggling with school right now too. He is one of the youngest in his class, and struggling with attention issues. We don't have him in public school as he is too high functioning to qualify for services. Struggling to "teach" my former colleagues about him. It's been a rough year for all of us :( Thankfully my son LOVES school.